Satirical News Service
Washington, DC
As Florida starts to assess the mounting damage from
hurricane Ian, it is evident that Florida will need significant help from THEMA,
the Army Corp of Engineers, and probably many other federal agencies. Florida
Republicans in the state have long viewed it as a “Tax Sanctuary State” with many
multi-millionaires living there and paying almost no taxes. Many of those
Republicans who railed at the burden “Blue states put on taxpayers” are even
now refusing to vote state funds for the cleanup and rebuilding in other
states and territories. In response, the IRS has chartered a plane to send 48
IRS agents to Tallahassee to aid in the “clean-up” effort and to make sure
that all Floridians pay their fair share of taxes for all the Federal aid
they’ll be receiving. They also want to make sure that they do not inflate the
value of their losses to avoid taxes.
Red states always seem to complain about the Federal
government giving away their tax dollars to Blue states when these so-called
natural disasters occur there, but when disasters hit disproportionally in Red
states they call on the Federal government to bear the brunt of the costs
so that their state governors can spend their honed down state budgets on
sending migrants to other states.
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