Satirical News Service
Tallahassee, FL
After demanding a grand jury investigation into Faucci and the
vaccine mandates, DeSantis doubled down demanding an end to the teaching of “germ
theory” in public schools upon which modern medicine is based, and instead
focusing on teaching “The imbalance of
humours” as the cause of diseases.
In his announcement, DeSantis stated, “This is just one more
example of pushing the “Woke view” of science. For many years the imbalance of the humours had been taught here in Florida as the primary cause of diseases. Dung
poultices, leeches, tobacco, and swinging poisonous serpents overhead were widely accepted here to treat diseases. Now Democrats led by Faucci want
us to believe that naturally spreading viruses and germs other than those
artificially created in Chinese laboratories are the cause of diseases. They
want to force people to take vaccines instead which everyone knows causes
autism. We need to stop this, and I’ll
be the one to lead this effort!.”
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