IRS TO INSTITUTE A STOP AND QUESTION POLICY MODELED AFTER THE ARIZONA IMMIGRATION LAW.

Satirical News Service
Phoenix, AZ

Following on the heels of the Arizona State Legislature’s new Immigration “Stop and Prove Citizenship” law, the IRS is also implementing a new policy that would require all law enforcement officials to stop and question citizens in the State of Arizona to prove that they have filed and are not delinquent on their income taxes. The provisions of this law make it mandatory for all persons to carry proof of filing and payment of all federal and state income taxes or be subject to arrest.
“We feel it is about time that the government take this enforcement seriously. After all, the law is the law, and it is a federal crime to be delinquent in paying your taxes. Just look at the criminals who avoid paying taxes – drug dealers, pimps, gun dealers – not to mention those high-and-mighty Wall Street types! Nope, it’s time to start enforcing the laws of this country! If you can’t prove you paid, you’re going to get arrested! We don’t intend to profile anyone, but confidentially, if you are white and drive a Mercedes, you had better carry proof of payment to the IRS!”

Original Satire from
Steven Friedman

Future Censuses to Use Color swatches to Classify Race

Satiricial News Service

Washington DC

Amid the uproar over which race box to check on the current Census Form, US government officials annouced today that they will use a different method to classify people's race. According to one un-named official, "We've been getting a lot of heat over which race box to check, You have people wanting to classify themselves as "Tanned Americans", "Tea-Party Americans", and then of course there are people like the late Michael Jackson who want to be classfied as "Transitional". To address this controversy, the Census Forms will no longer use words. Instead citizens are asked to match thier skin color as closely as possible to the swatches provided in the form. Hence forth, people in the US will no longer be classified by words, but rather by their swatch number. It is hoped by going to this method, the Census Bureau can be more accomidating to all American's.

New Discovery of Extinct Branch of Prehistoric Humans

Satiricial News Service

Scientists this week have made the discovery of an early branch of human evolution that mysteriously went extinct. From fossils they hypothesized that they had very small brains and lived exclusively on an herb that resembles modern day "tea". Scientists believe this may have made them very angry and irrational. They are classifying this new species as Homo-Insurrectus.

Along with the discovery they discovered cave drawings from this extinct human race. Anthropologists have suggested that based on the drawings, they worshiped the symbol of a coiled snake. The figure in the middle right drawing is hypothesized to represent a witch doctor or chief who brings healthcare to the tribe. The circle with the slash indicates that they did not like this chief or healthcare. The lower most drawing shows how they lured a woolly mammoth to jump off a cliff by first jumping off it themselves. The last drawing suggests why they probably went extinct.

Satan Summoned in House of Representatives to Persuade Hold-out Democrats on Healthcare Reform Vote

Satirical news service
Washington DC

In a last ditch effort to persuade hold-out democrats and Joe Liberman, Nancy Pelosi personally summoned Satan to persuade them to vote for the Health Care Reform bill.

Millions of Republicans Keel over Dead to Protest Health Care Reform Passage

Satirical News Service
Washington, DC

As soon as the final vote count was completed in the US House of Representatives, millions of Republicans simply keeled over dead as soon as passage of the bill was assured rather than face government sponsored health care reform. Mitch McConnell – who remained alive long enough to give this interview – stated “See, we told you this would happen”. The scene of millions of Tea Baggers bodies lining capitol mall could be seen on FOX TV. Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck could not be reached for comment.



Original Satire from
Steven Friedman

The CRAZIES - New take on the Movie Poster

Former VP Dick Cheney is First American to Appear Before Health Care “Death Panels”

Sartirical News
Washington D.C.

Following recent hospitalization for heart problems, former VP Cheney received mandatory counseling for end of life issues where it was determined that his condition was tragically hopeless. Following this meeting, a heavily sedated Cheney was wheeled out of the hospital in a gurney to a nearby airport where a private jet was awaiting his arrival. Hospital public relations officials stated he was being taken to an undisclosed hospice location where he will be allowed to meet his inevitable death out of the eyes of the prying public. Officials assured us they are do everything in their power to ease his pain with very high doses of narcotics that would ordinarily be considered harmful or even fatal if the prognosis were not so grim to begin with.