Yes Virginia, There is No Black Santa Claus

"DEAR Megyn Kelly: I am 8 years old.

"Some of my little friends say there is a Black Santa Claus.

"Papa says, 'If you see it on FOX News  it's so.'

"Please tell me the truth; is there a Black Santa Claus?

"VIRGINIA O'HANLON.

"115 WEST NINETY-FIFTH STREET."

VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the liberal media – the same liberal media that wants to ban guns, give poor people welfare and  force socialized medicine on us. They think that just because some misguided  shopping malls who cow-tow to political correctness, that makes it so. All these bleeding heart liberal minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little and completely misguided.  In this great universe of ours FOX NEWS speaks the honest truth, that man is not descended from apes, as those liberal godless school teachers would have you believe it, are incapable of grasping the real truth and knowledge as we at FOX know it to be true

Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus, but let me assure he is most assuredly a white gun toting, tea party conservative. He exists as certainly as forty seven percent of the people live care free off the sweat of the real hard working tax paying Americans, and above all he is White! Alas! how dreary would be the world if Santa Claus were some some bling draped rapper with his pants down to his crotch blaring away some rap version of Santa Claus is coming to Town. It would be as dreary as if there were no FOX News. There would be no childlike bickering among ignoramuses on daily talk “news shows”, no idiotic “birther” arguments. We should have no facts except those reported by the liberal media. The eternal light with which FOX NEWS fills the world would be extinguished.

Believe in Black Santa Claus! You might as well believe in gun control and Obamacare! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch some black rapper Santa Claus and blow him back to the South Pole where he belongs. But even if they did see Black Santa Claus coming down, could they prove that he wasn’t born in Kenya? Nobody believes in Black Santa Claus just like no one believes we should have a black President. That sign should be enough to convince you that there is no Black Santa Claus. The most real truths in the world are those that  I, and FOX NEWS want you to see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn or going to the city hall to get legally married? If you do call the police at once! Still that's no proof that they are not there, but we will do our best to try to ignore them. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders that are unseen and unseeable in the world, but we’ll do our best to convince you otherwise.

You may tear apart you TV set to see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the idiotic view of the world we present every day ; which not the wisest man, nor even the united strength of all the liberal intellectuals who ever lived, could tear apart. Push aside that curtain Virginia and view and the real world as we at FOX NEWS know it to be true. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this if we say it’s real, then it MUST be so.

A Black Santa Claus! Thank God there is no such thing! A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, we will continue to deny that he exists and that President Obama was NOT born in Kenya.