US Launches Missile Attack on Bob Mueller’s Offices in Response to Syrian Gas Attack

Satirical News Service
Washington DC

Sources in the White House reported today that the US military has successfully carried out a missile attack on the Offices of Bob Mueller to “send a message to the Syrians that they can’t get away with launching poison gas attacks on their own people”. Asked why Bob Mueller’s office was chosen instead of a target in Syria, Sarah Huckabee Saunders responded by saying “We feel this is the best way to show the Syrians what we could do to them if we wanted to, and also sends a message to their Russian allies that attempting to link the President to any type of collusion in the last election which did not occur or any other scandal which also did not happen, that they will pay a hefty consequence for their actions.”

Sources within the White House could not confirm that another missile attack might be imminent for the headquarters of Macmillan, who recently published Bob Comey’s new book, as a follow on message to Syria, “not to mess with the USA”. Republicans in both House of Congress applauded this action saying “We support our President 100% in his brave action to demonstrate to Syria and the Russians that we mean what we say!”