Spell Checker Changes All Instances Of Collusion To Collision In Mueller Report

Satirical News Service
Washington DC

In an effort of complete the report on time, Mueller’s staff ran it through Windows’ Spell Checker, and only later discovered to their horror that it had changed every instance of the word “Collusion” to “Collision”. The President’s chief defense counsel stated that it confirmed that there was absolutely no Collusion mentioned anywhere in the report. Apparently, the Spell checker also changed the word “Conspiracy" to "Controversy“, and for some strange and unexplained reason, it also changed the phrase “We therefore conclude that an indictment should be sought against Donald Trump” to phrase “We therefore conclude that an indictment should be sought against Hillary Clinton”. Staffers from Mueller’s office were aghast that such an egregious error had happened, but they speculate that it might have had something to do with the technicians who were fiddling with Mueller’s computer last week who had very strange foreign accents.