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Wednesday, September 4, 2019

Green-Away Introduces “The Impossible Salad”


Satirical News Service
Washington DC
You know the story. You’ve just finished three hours of Pickleball with your friends – you’re just craving for a juicy burger and fries. Then one your wife’s Vegan friends suggest going to the local salad bar for eats. Your dreams of that juicy burger fade away. The only thing like meat there are those “soy bacon bit salad toppings”. But now, thanks to the latest innovations in food science. Green-Away has come out with “The Impossible Salad®”. It looks like your typical green salad, and even crunches like it. But it is made entirely of meat and meat-byproducts and tastes amazingly like hamburger.

“We’ve taken real meat and refined it and colored it so that it looks like the ingredients of your typical garden salad, but contains no vegetable matter what-so-ever. I like to call it ‘the food for the rest of us’.”

Green-Away expects that their “Impossible Salad®” will soon be available at salad bars nationwide.

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