Satirical News Service
Washington DC
Washington DC
In
anticipation that Impeachment charges go forward and the case goes before the
Senate for trial, Republicans are expecting to call forth “The Whistle Blower” to
testify. In a shrewd effort to both
protect his identity, credibility and protect him from attacks by the Right,
the whistle blower’s lawyers have proposed dressing him head-to-toe as Santa
Claus. According to his lawyer,
“No one in their right mind is going to attack
Santa Claus – especially during the Christmas Holidays. Anyone who has seen Miracle on 34th Street knows how
that plays out. He could simply say 'his elves were the ones who told him that
Trump was being a bad boy' without having to name specific names. Everyone
already knows that Santa and his elves are always watching our every move, and
they know when we’ve been naughty and when we’ve been nice.”
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