Quid Pro Quo – The New Normal at the Trump Grill

Satirical News Service
Washington DC

With Trump and his Republican allies rigorously defending his “Quid-Pro-Quo” with Ukraine, the Trump Organization has decided to go all out to show just how normal and wide-spread quid-pro-quo is. To push the point, The Trump Grill is implementing a quid-pro-quo policy (though not publically admitting it). It goes something like this.

Customer: Waiter, we have very important guests here that need to be on a plane this evening to return back to their country. Can you please talk to the kitchen staff to make sure they get our orders out promptly.

Waiter: Very good sir!

1 hour later……

Customer (hailing his waiter):  Waiter, we’ve been waiting here for over an hour, and no one has brought us our food. My customers need to be on a plane later and they’ll miss their flight if it isn’t here soon!

Rudy Giuliani (comes to the table):  I hope you are enjoying your service here tonight. You know Mr. Trump goes out of his way to provide the best service.

Customer (angrily): I’ve told the waiter twice that it is critical that we get our meals soon since my clients have a flight to catch this evening. It’s been more than one and a half hours and we are still waiting!

Rudy: Well there is a little problem. Our kitchen staff doesn’t like the fact that the wait staff often takes their tips. So they are asking you to do them a little favor and leave them a tip “up-front” so-to-speak, just so that they are assured of getting their rightly share. Say, about 25%. Oh, and there will also be the usual 25% percent service charge tacked onto the bill as well.

Customer: That’s EXTORTION!

Rudy: Not in the LEAST! It quid-pro-quo, and there is nothing wrong with it at all. It’s done all the time in restaurants all over the world – especially in the countries that your clients come from. By doing this we are sending a message to their country to stop this practice. Please leave cash on the table – no credit cards are accepted for this extra transaction. Your food will then be out shortly. Enjoy your meal!