Satirical News Service
Washington DC
After the US Mint
secretly minted a 1 Trillion Dollar platinum coin as a last-ditch effort to do
an end run around defaulting on the National Debt, an aide who was tasked with
delivering it to the Treasury accidentally gave it to a homeless man.
According to sources within the US Mint, the single coin had
been minted just 12 hours before. An aide was tasked with actually delivering
that coin into the hands of the Treasury Secretary before the midnight deadline after which time the US would default. The aide stated that he had every intention
to deliver it, but as he was crossing Constitution Avenue, he ran into a homeless
man who asked him if he had spare change. “I reached into my pocket and
handed him a coin. I really thought it was a quarter, but when I got to the
Treasury Department I realized my mistake – that I had given him the Trillion
Dollar Coin”. Efforts to find the man were not successful, but authorities are
certain that they’ll find him when he tries to use it to buy booze and expects
change back.
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