Satirical News Service
Washington DC
In a startling announcement today the Homeland Security Administration revealed that Dick Chaney, former VP, had confessed to plotting acts of terror on the 10th anniversary of 9/11.
According to Janet Napolitano, Homeland Security director, Dick Cheney confessed to plotting to blow up several public buildings in New York City and on military installations in and around Washington DC. Including Walker Reed Hospital, Ronald Regan Airport, and the Pentagon. He named several accomplices who have yet to be apprehended.
"We really have Cheney himself to thank for this, said Napolitano, if it weren't for his own enhanced interrogation methods, we never would have unconverted this plot." "I'm ready to admit now that I was completely wrong about this issue and he was right"
Prior to confessing Dick Cheney underwent nearly 6 hours of waterboarding and other enhanced interrogation techniques before he came clean and confessed to the plot. Authorities said he would be immediately shipped off to the terrorist prison at Guantanamo Naval Base pending further action.
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