My Mine-Mine-Mine Plan for 2012

It is estimated that this upcoming election in 2012 candidates and PACs will spend more than 400 million dollars, and that is only what is on top of the table and not under it. Sheesh, that could fund a lot of healthcare or debt pay down, depending on your whims. So I want to tell you now that this election, I’m cutting out the middle man. It’s time we returned to the good old days of politics when true democracy prevailed and a dollar and a good stiff drink could buy a vote directly. It’s time we returned to the time of great Presidents like Ulysses S Grant and Warren G Harding who knew the value of a good bribe. So if you are reading this Koch Brothers, and Warren Buffet forget about giving those overpriced PAC’s and Political Parties your hardly-earned-tax-break dollars. I ain’t watching anymore of your vitriolic ads showing Mother Teresa lashing out against Obama’s Tax policies, or Republican’s giving arsenic laced candy to minority children to try to get my vote. This election, I want the cash directly! As the old saying goes “money talks, or nobody walks”. My starting bid for buying my vote is $250 for President, and $100 per Congressman. Since after this election I figure I’ll be sleeping under a bridge anyway, I might as well get something out of it for myself. So send those “contributions” directly to me in the form of cash or money order, and come November whoever pays me the most, gets my vote. That’s the American way!