Today, I am formally announcing my Candidacy for the GOP Presidential Race. After watching the inexplicable success of GOP congressmen getting elected after their expressed desire to do nothing, and now watching the current circus of GOP hopefuls express their desire to return to some other century, I am proposing my 0-0-0 plan.
The Zero-Zero-Zero plan quite simply is my stated goal of doing absolutely nothing for 4 years. Yep – Nada! The good news to all you Republicans is that you can bet there will be no new taxes, no new spending, and no new Health Plans. For you Democrats, I pledge no new tax cuts, no new entitlement program cuts, and no new social agendas.
Under the Zero-Zero-Zero plan I figure I can appeal to those Republicans who seem perfectly happy with the status quo, and those Moderates and Liberals who are more afraid of the Tea Party than doing nothing.
Taking a page from George W Bush before he got side-tracked by 911, I plan to spend my entire presidential term on vacation. No meetings, no congressional negotiations, no reading boring briefs like “Bin Laden bent on Attacking the US”. I plan to have a lot of fun and leisure while the rest of you Bozo’s stagnate. The 1%’ers already have this figured out and I want in this game too.
So here is my Pledge to you. If I am elected president I promise to do absolutely NOTHING for my entire term. So you can put your fears aside and just remember my slogan – “Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained”.
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