Recently a terrorist was arrested with the intention of bombing the Capitol. He claimed he was following a recipe he got on the internet called “How to make a Bomb in Your Mom’s Kitchen”. Now I don’t know about you but, if it were my Mom, I seriously doubt the thing would stand a snowball’s chance in hell of ever working. This is how I image things would unfold.
“Mom, its Achmed, listen I’m trying to make that bomb recipe you had – you know the one you got from Aunt Hilda that blew up Uncle Joseph. Yeh! That one."
“OK, it says to mix 1 part TNT with 2 parts of Ammonia Sulfate. What, you say you substituted Bicarbonate of Soda for the Ammonia sulfate? OK how much – 1 cup, 1 tablespoon? You’re not sure….? Ok I’ll try 1 tablespoon."
“Okay, it says to mix for 5 minutes on medium speed with a hand mixer. What, you say not to over mix it? How do I know if I’ve over mixed it? You say we won’t be having this conversation….OK I won’t over mix it. It then says to slowly add hydrogen sulfide until it becomes a thickened goo. Any idea how much that is? Can I use hydrogen peroxide instead? I’m completely out of hydrogen sulfide. No…Ok you say just leave it out and it’ll be fine. Great! Now it says to spread it evenly into a 9x12 pan and bake at, hmm, I can’t make out that number is it 300 degrees? 400 degrees? You’re not sure….. Great! Listen, if the thing doesn’t work do you and dad want to come to dinner over here next Ramadan? I’m making Anthrax."
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