President Romney Now Admits He Wasn’t at the Helm of the US These Past 3 Years

Satirical News Service
January 2017
Washington DC

With the country now in its third year of a worsening great recession and unemployment now at 18% Romney now admits that he really wasn’t running the country these past three years. In 2012 Mitt Romney was declared the winner of the 2012 election due to a highly controversial ruling by Florida’s board of election that gave him an electoral edge. But today Romney today admitted that he really was President of the United States in name only, having taken a leave of absence to become president of Greece within a month of being elected US president. According to Romney’s press secretary, Mitt Romney was in Greece beginning in February 2013, and left all decision making to Bob Perry. Romney flat out denied any involvement in the massive tax cuts to the wealthy and benefit cuts to Medicare, Social Security, and other Federal Programs that led to this latest economic catastrophe. He stated he was much too busy running the affairs of Greece to get involved in those issues. While his stated occupation on his 2013-2017 tax returns was listed as President of the United State, he claimed he was nowhere near the place these past three years.