Satirical News Service
New York, NY
In an effort to placate Paul Rand and his other critics in
Congress and appear to add more transparency to the so called “Kill List”,
President Obama has offered to host Drone Court on FOX TV. Drone Court will
follow the usual TV court format, but the cases will be against suspected
terrorists who are under consideration for being executed by armed unmanned Drone Predators.
Since it is highly unlikely that the
actual suspects themselves are going to show their face, or even hint as to their
whereabouts, character actors will dress
up and impersonate them for television and plead their case. In the unlikely
event that they are acquitted, the suspect will be taken off the list and the
character playing that suspect will get to act all emotional and prpaise Allah. If not
the Judge will inform the real suspect that they are in our sights. The roles
of TV prosecutors have not yet been selected, but it is hinted that Dick Cheney
has been offered the role, or possibly Condoleezza Rice.
It is rumored that former TV Judge Wapner will come out of retirement to
take the Drone Court Judge role.
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