CDC Board’s Plane After Man Admits To Having Carried Gluten Aboard

Satirical News Service
Washington DC

Terrified passengers were confronted with officials from the CDC in Hazmat suits boarding their airliner and escorting off a man who had admitted that he had recently eaten gluten, and then had taken it aboard the airplane. According to the man in question, he had purchased a sandwich from Subway that afternoon and had eaten half of it. He then took the remainder aboard to supplement the normally safe gluten free snacks. He said he was unaware of how dangerous it was. Officials are unsure if they are going to press charges, but hope this serves as a wake up call to better screen passengers for gluten aboard airplanes.