Satirical News Service
Washington DC
Washington DC
In a
blockbuster announcement today, government sources close to SNS have revealed
the discovery of authentic birth certificates that reveal that not one, but all
of the recently announced Republican candidates for the 2016 Presidential race
were really born in Kenya.
Government sources surmised that Kenya had been
running a “Baby Mill” for mothers in and out of wedlock to secretly give birth
to their babies without anyone knowing about it to avoid scandal. The Kenyan
government has now come clean about these births that have been going on since
the 1940’s, and have produced documentation proving the authenticity of those
real birth certificates. They show that Marcos Rubio, Rand Paul. Ted Cruz, and Jeb
Bush were all actually born in Kenya, and therefore would be ineligible to be
elected president of the USA. Sources for those candidates have refused to
comment on these revelations at this time.
In other news, the State Department has announced a
1 billion dollar aid package to Kenya.
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