Police Chiefs Nationwide Site Huge Problem of Black People Jumping In The Way Of Their Bullets

Satirical News Service
Washington DC

A spokesperson for the FOP stated today that police departments nationwide are facing a huge problem of Black people jumping in the way of their bullets. “It seems a police officer can’t fire his gun anywhere anymore without some Black man or women getting right in the path of their bullets. We try to be as careful as we can when we shoot, but dang it, there seems to always be a Black person around who jumps out right in front of the bullet killing him. We can’t figure out why they keep doing it – maybe some kind of Superman thing. They don’t even seem content to do it for just one bullet either. Sometimes they’ll jump right in front of 10 or more. You’d really think they’d have better sense than that. But what else are our officers to do when they fire their pistols harmlessly at inanimate objects near fleeing suspects?”