Outraged Fans Go To Ballparks to Watch Ballgames Without Players

Satirical News Service
Baltimore, MD

Baseball Fans today, outraged by the decision to let the Orioles play the Chicago White Sox in a Stadium without fans, retaliated by going to ballparks and attending ballgames without players. 

In LA and NY fans filled stadiums to near capacity just to eat hot dogs, drink beer, yell obscenities- all without a single baseball player on the field. As one NY fan put it “We don’t need those F****g C***ts on the field to have a good time. We can manage just fine on our own!”

FOX sports may soon be televising games without players like this on a regular basis, since it seemed to attract about the same amount of television viewers' attention, and cost a lot less.