Satirical New Service
Washington DC
Washington DC
Today Donald Trump agreed to pardon all incarcerated members of the notorious gang MS13. In a statement to the Press, Trump stated.
“After careful negotiations with the MS13 gang leader, they agreed to spend more than 15 million dollars in arms purchases, extortion deals, fentanyl purchases, and bribes to law-enforcement officials. If we foolishly pursue prosecution of these gang members they have stated they will take their business elsewhere. This is a record amount of money that will create hundreds of thousands of jobs, tremendous economic development, and profits for the gun and pharmaceutical industries that would otherwise go to Russia or China. This is a small price to pay for all their continued business here in the United States in exchange for all the great economic gifts we receive directly from them.”
No comments:
Post a Comment