Satirical News Service
Washington, DC
After receiving what Kim stated was a "very satisfactory letter" from Donald Trump, he replied in kind. Satirical News Service has obtained a copy
How I long to again be in your strong embrace. I sorrow to hear of your troubles with those intransigent Democrats. If only you will lift those nasty sanctions on us and give up your ridiculous idea of denuclearization, I will happily do for you the following
- I will send 10,000 slave laborers to build your beloved wall so you will not need the 5.8 billion US dollars your ungrateful Congress will not give you. I will also send 2000 armed guards to make sure they stay in line. When the wall is done you can either deport them back to North Korea or Kill them – either way, you will get your wall.
- I will send my own personal hit teams to kill Nancy Pelosi and all of her family as well as Robert Schumer’s and any other member of Congress who opposes you. I will take care of all of this.
- I will also have Robert Mueller and his family killed as well as Michael Cohen.
- You can come and deliver your State of the Union address and any other dictates right from my own personal podium here in North Korea.
Please say yes to this my beloved.
Your’s Truly.
Kim Jong Un
White House sources confirmed that Trump thought Kims reply marked great progress in their on-going relationship.
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