Satirical News Service
Washington DC
Washington DC
After accepting a deal from Congress for only 1.3 billion dollars to fund his Border Wall, Trump today announced that he has found alternative sources for funding his wall that would not require Congressional Approval.
“We have tons of Cocaine that we have seized on drug raids that have a street value of twice what I asked for to fund my great border wall. It’s just sitting there stacked up in warehouses doing nothing. I’ve authorized the justice department to release these stores to the commerce department to sell at street value and use those funds to build my big beautiful wall. I will also stipulate that ant cocaine sales MUST go only to US drug dealers. We want to make sure that those jobs STAY in the US and not to their competitors in Mexico, China and elsewhere. THIS is a WIN-WIN for America, and will finally provide the necessary money to build our great wall to keep drug dealers f coming from our Southern Border out of this country.”
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