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FAKE NEWS (just seems like it could be true)

Tuesday, April 21, 2020

Long Gas Lines re-Appear Not to Buy, But to Give Gas Back to Filling Stations


Satirical News Service
Washington, DC
As the price of a barrel of oil shot below $7 yesterday, long lines of tanker trucks and service vehicles with large capacity gas tanks have begun to appear outside of service stations, not to buy gas, but to get rid of it. With the COVID19 pandemic preventing people from going anywhere gas stations are overfilled to capacity. People who bought huge tank-loads of gas anticipating a shortage are desperate to sell it back. For this reason, the price of gas has gone above $3.00 a gallon; not to buy it, but to pay gas station to just take it. One tank trucker who just paid a more than $2.50 a gallon to a gas station owner to take it said “As long as this stuff stays in my tank, I’m losing money, lots of money, that I could make hauling hand sanitizer and ethanol for virus testing.“ 
Gas stations are using devices like “free fill-up with the purchase of a car wash" just to lure people back. Another is offering toilet paper rolls with every gas purchase.“It just crazy” exclaimed one gas station owner.

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