Satirical News Service
Washington, DC
Washington, DC
As the price of a barrel of oil shot below $7
yesterday, long lines of tanker trucks and service vehicles with large capacity
gas tanks have begun to appear outside of service stations, not to buy gas, but
to get rid of it. With the COVID19 pandemic preventing people from going
anywhere gas stations are overfilled to capacity. People who bought huge
tank-loads of gas anticipating a shortage are desperate to sell it back. For this reason, the price of
gas has gone above $3.00 a gallon; not to buy it, but to pay gas station to
just take it. One tank trucker who just paid a more than $2.50 a gallon to a
gas station owner to take it said “As long as this stuff stays in my tank, I’m
losing money, lots of money, that I could make hauling hand sanitizer and ethanol
for virus testing.“
Gas stations are using devices like “free fill-up with the purchase of a car wash" just to lure people back. Another is offering toilet paper rolls with every gas purchase.“It just crazy”
exclaimed one gas station owner.
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