Satirical News Service
Tallahassee, FL
Tallahassee, FL
Florida Governor Rick DeSantis became the first governor to
try to novel new way to allocate who gets PPE and even Ventilators. Scratch-off tickets will be made available at
all supermarkets and convenience stores as well as given out whenever you get
tested for COVID19. If your scratch-off is “positive” meaning you have three
Coronavirus pictures, you get the prize shown on the ticket. These range from
N19 face masks to personal ventilators. According to DeSantis, "We feel this is the fairest
way to allocate the limited resources our state has to combat this virus.
Besides. People in this state understand scratch-offs.”
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