Satirical News Service
Washington DC
Washington DC
In an effort
to stave off the constant stream of criticism that days go by and nothing is
still being done to address the growing need to supply testing kits and aide to
unemployed workers. Trump has taken the extraordinary measure of freezing the calendar. In signing this latest executive order, it bans the advancement of days in the yearly
calendar. In his press statement, he said,
“With all these so-called experts and fake news outlets demanding action by
this date or that, I am taking the extraordinary action of stopping all advancement
of the calendar until further notice.”
Stunned cabinet members and members of Congress
are still trying to understand just what this means and what it will
affect. According to experts, it means that today will be stuck in place indefinitely. There
will, in essence, be no tomorrow – or yesterday for that matter. It means that
rents and mortgage payments due on the first of the month will not happen because
there will not be a first of the month. Garbage collection and other essential
services are still trying to grapple with how to adjust their schedules.
Deadlines for re-opening services will have to be decided some other way than
on a specific calendar date because from now on, there will be only “today”.
More ominous is how it might affect the presidential election in November.
According to one Congressman, “November has been canceled along with October,
September, August, July, June, etc..”
Trump's response to this criticism was “I am the
President and I have the power to do whatever I want”.
No comments:
Post a Comment