Satirical News Service
Washington DC
Washington DC
Impatient with the slow pace of the governors and
public to re-open the economy and desperate to restore the one positive thing
that his administration had going for it prior to COVID19, President Trump
today signed into law an executive order that puts all the stock market values
back to where they were at the end of December 2019. In a statement to the “Fake
News Media”, as he calls it, Trump reiterated “My numbers are great, Obama,
Pelosi and the Democrats planted fake values for unemployment and the stock
market just to discredit me. I’m only restoring them to where they rightfully
should be.” When questioned about the legality of such as move the President
stated again, “I’m the President, I can do whatever I want “.
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