US Economy Grows on Strength of Attack Ad Revenues

Satirical News Service
Washington, DC

In a time when all sectors of the American Economy are showing anemic growth, the one sector that has skyrocketed has been the Political Attack Ad sector. This year alone over 1 billion dollars was spent on these ads. In response to this NASDAQ  will be listing a new IPO for a corporation called SuperPAC. SuperPAC (SUPAC symbol) recently formed by Karl Rove hopes to be the one-stop-shop for all political attack ads nationwide and eventually worldwide. 

According to their spokesperson, “We see ourselves as being in the business of mining and manufacturing. We mine the public rancor, and then manufacture the truth to feed this rancor. The best part about it is that it is self-perpetuating; when one side comes out with an ad, the other party has to respond, or more to the point, retaliate, in kind. This could be the new Google or Facebook! At a time when wealthy investors are unwilling to risk their money on Energy, Manufacturing, Transportation, IT, healthcare,... you name it! They are pouring money like crazy into Political Attack Ads. The best part about it is that we have to produce nothing of tangible value! There is No-Return-On-Investment except for the prospect that your party will win and then owe you favors – something we can’t be even remotely linked to let alone held accountable to our investors for. In the coming years we plan to take these attacks ads down to the local level – heck, even the races for County Coroner are starting to go negative! With all the built up hubris and rancor in this nation we project skyrocketing revenues for years to come. We are also planning on expanding into the European market which we feel has great potential for our products.  America could be the new world leader in the manufacture and production of Political Attacks Ads. This could be engine that fuels the economy for the next 50 years!”