Satirical News Service
Baton Rouge, LA
Baton Rouge, LA
Today Governor Bobby Jindal urged the Louisiana State Legislature
to pass tighter controls over the sale and distribution of movie tickets.
Stating that it was appalling that just anyone can legally purchase movie tickets
regardless of history or mental problems or domestic abuse he went on to say, “It’s
even possible for anyone to buy as many tickets as they please without anyone
asking any questions. There are no control s over these so called Multiplexes that can legally offer
multiple showings in as many as 10 different theaters with little or no
controls over who attends these. The current R, NR,X, G, and PG ratings system
is too lax to stop a mentally deranged person from attending these showings.
The only way to prevent such tragedies to pass much stricter controls on who
can attend movies and limit the movies number of movies that a theater can show
and to only show G rated movies. While I realize this poses an inconvenience to
law-bidding movie goers who just want see a movie, we have a duty to protect those
people exercising their lawful 2nd amendment right to bear arms who
might decide to attend one of these theaters and then happen to go off the
rails.”
In other news the same Louisiana State Legislature rejected mandatory
background checks for people wishing to purchase handguns, and limit the sale
of gun sales at gun shows without any background checks.
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