Small Businesses Upset over Amazon's Unannounced Election Day in July Sale

Satirical News Service
Washington DC

Many small business owners were upset over Amazon Inc.’s unannounced sale of Candidates. Apparently advance notices were sent out to only select corporations and special interest groups who then had the opportunity to buy candidates at very reduced prices. one special interest chairman said  “I’m really steamed about this, I could have bought Hillary Clinton for less than half of what she’d cost me in November". Another upset business owner said he had plans to buy Scott Walker to bust the food packing unions in his state.” I could have got him for pennies on the dollar. Now it’ll cost me nearly triple if I have to go to ebay or PAC sites to buy candidates.”

Notices apparently went out to only selected big interest groups and large Corporations prior to the sale well in advance, and only last minute to smaller special interest groups and business who did not have time to prepare to take advantage of the bargains offered.