Satirical News Service
Washington DC
Washington DC
With his
Republican allies deserting him daily as new evidence emerges and facing new charges
of violating the emoluments clause, Trump railed today that he is the victim of
a phony Presidency.
“Me President – Hell no! I just filled in for Mike
Pence. He is the one behind all those scandals. He was the one who made the
Ukraine call and then made me take the blame for it. He was the one who demanded
that I choose the Trump Doral for the G7. I was happy to just play golf all the
time while he did all the dirty work. Now that the S**T has hit the fan, he
wants me to take the blame for it. Of course, I hardly knew the man – after all, who can trust a man who calls his wife mommy. I am just an upstanding,
amazingly successful businessman in the hospitality business who got caught up in this phony Presidential
thing. You should be impeaching him – not me.”
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