Satirical News Service
Washington, DC
News Service
Orlando, FL
Speaking at a Rally of Tea Party Faithfuls at Disney World, Newt Gingrich outlined his bold new initiatives for America if he was elected President. In his speech he proposed building an oil pipeline to the moon to tap into their vast reserves of oil. According to Gingrich this would create million of new jobs for construction workers and astronauts and ensure Oil Independence from other nations. Along these same lines he proposed drilling for oil in Disneyland in California to demonstrate to his Tea Party supporters than nothing is off limits when it comes to drilling for new oil.
In the same speech he advocated Statehood for Cuba. “The time has come at last to bring this star into the flag of the United States”. He was not specific though about how this would come about, nor what he would do about the present regime in Cuba.
The enthusiastic crowd was quite pleased with this speech noting “It shows us that he shares our vision for America”. Before leaving Disneyworld, however, it is reported he propositioned “Belle” near Snow White’s castle and asked her if she’d like to play “Ding-Dong Belle” with him in private.
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