Satirical News Service
Tampa. FL
Dinesh D’Souza, the film maker who recently made O’bama
2016, has announced plans to remake the film Saving Private Ryan. In this version of the film, Paul Ryan
has lost all of his ultra-conservative brothers in bitter primary fights. He and
Captain Miller (played by Mitt Romney) are barricaded in a Cayman Islands Bank
besieged by US government Tax collectors who are demanding their tax returns for
the last 10 years. With only with a handful of die hard conservatives , armed
with just a few banking and Wall Street de-regulations
and Medicare vouchers, they battle off the persistent tax collectors. In the final scene Captain Miller
(Mitt Romney) is hopelessly confronted by a large government armored car
determined to take more than 13% of his declared income. Out of the blue comes
a private Jet dropping 10,000 hard bound copies of Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged on the armored
car. As Miller (Mitt Romney) lay dying he turns to Paul Ryan, pointing to the
Cayman Island bank that they saved, in
his dying breath says “Earn this….!” As the movie ends a not much older but now
wiser Ryan vows to end Medicare, Cut taxes the rich, and end all Federal
entitlement programs. The final scene cuts to a brave heroic Ryan standing
steadfast against a silhouetted Cayman Islands Flag.
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