Satirical News Service
Washington D.C.
Washington D.C.
Immediately after the
announcement that the gunman connected to the recent Planned Parenthood
shooting in Colorado had recently immigrated
from North Carolina, Several governors responded by
stating they would take measures block
any attempts by individuals from North Carolina immigrating into their states.” It’s quite clear that North Carolina is just a breeding ground
for Fundamentalist Christian Jihadists intent on
committing act of terrorism. Since we cannot always know who is a terrorist, we
feel it is far safer just to ban all individuals from that state from crossing
into our borders.”
Republican front runner Ben Carson recommended a
thorough vetting program for North Carolinians stating “It would be foolish to welcome North Carolina immigrants into our other states without systems in place to thoroughly vet them".
Another Governor made clear that we must ensure robust
refugee screening to protect American citizens, and the Governor believes that
the federal government should halt acceptance of people from emigrating from North Carolina until intelligence and defense officials can
assure that the process for vetting all is as strong as possible to ensure the safety of the American people.
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