Oregon and California Consider Legalization of Gluten for Recreational Consumption

Legalized "Bake Shops" such as this one would only be allowed in specialized zones away from schools, spas and health clubs.

Satirical News Service
Sacramento, CA

 Legislatures in Oregon and California have both put forward measures that will allow people to consume products containing Gluten legally. Although controversial, many legislators feel that it is high time to permit people the freedom to decide the risks for themselves. According to one advocate, “We see nothing wrong with the occasional pizza or baguette as long as it can be eaten responsibly. Legalizing gluten, would remove the danger and stigma of having to order a Pepperoni pizza through the underground black market, or risk getting arrested for just eating a subway sandwich in public.”

Part of the provisions of the legislation would set up specially zoned  areas away from schools, spas or health clubs where restaurants can legally serve gluten products. Right now people now can obtain special permits that allow them to order pizza delivery to their home as long as they produce a doctor certified card stating that they do not have Coeliac’s disease and have been informed of the risks of consuming gluten laden products. It is still unknown how they will classify gluten products, and whether or not to allow people to grow their own wheat for their own consumption.

Some legislators are up in arms saying this will only lead to consumption of more dangerous unhealthy foods such as bacon, soda pop, and Hostess Twinkies.