RNC adopts New Debate Format – They will only Debate Themselves

Satirical News Service
Washington DC

After the series of humiliating debacles with the Republican debates now focusing on the media rather than issues, the RNC has decided to put a stop to it. From now on, Candidates will only debate themselves.

According to Reince Priebus, the RNC committee chairman, “We will no longer have moderators pose questions. Instead, the candidates themselves will pose questions they want to answer, and then answer those questions. Other candidates will not be allowed to respond to anyone else’s questions, but must stick only to the questions they ask themselves. That way we can have a fair and informed debate without a lot of arguing.  Each candidate will be allowed to debate him/herself for 15 minutes. That seems to be the maximum attention span of voters today. They then have a 5 minute closing statement. The debates will also no longer be hosted by Networks, but will go to a pay-per-view format much like prize fights on HBO. We feel this is the best way to attract the kind of voters we want to reach”