Dear Boys and Girls,
As
I sit here in my workshop preparing for another day of delivering toys and
gifts around the world, I am deeply saddened by the senseless violence that has I have seen taken place around the world. I can no longer sit passively on the sidelines
and not try to do something to prevent this.
As you know, my elves and myself
see everything you do, and we know when you’ve
been naughty and know when you’ve been nice. Even if you don’t believe in Xmas,
we still maintain this ongoing surveillance. In the interest of International Security, I
have entered into an agreement to release my list of “Bad Boys and Girls” to
the proper authorities.
I will also provide them with a
list of all people who have asked for guns this Xmas, and from this day forward
will no longer honor requests for guns or related paraphernalia for Xmas. I
just know you will end up poking your eye out or someone else’s !
I am hoping that with this bold
step I can deliver to you the only Xmas present that really matters; the safety
of you and your loved ones.
Merry Xmas and Peace on Earth
Santa Claus
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