Senator Ted Cruz's Response to Obama's Speech

Satirical News Service
Washington DC

Good Evening

I would like tonight to propose my own solution to stopping the terrorist threat to the United States, and suggest measures that will make America much safer than the feeble measures that President Obama proposed last night.

I propose an immediate passage of a law similar to Florida’s “Stand Your Ground Law”. I refer to it as the “Shoot First, Ask Later” Law.

This Law would permit any American to shoot someone they suspect might be a terrorist and feel threatened by them.  This would include anyone wearing a hajab, head scarf, burka,white skull cap, or other Muslim terrorist paraphernalia; anyone shouting Allahu Akbar in a public place, or speaking threatening language in Arabic. We simply can’t wait until they start shooting to stop these terrorists in their tracks.

While this may seem at first to stretch some people’s Constitutional Rights a little bit, I feel these are drastic times and drastic measures need to be taken.

I will not however, in any way-shape-or-form, do anything from preventing anyone, terrorist or not, from their Second Amendment Constitutional Right to bear arms. America has always believed in fairness above all, and I hold to this! We need to make this a fair fight – man-to-man, and gun-to-gun. That’s the way we did it in the “Old West”, and I believe it will work today.

Thank you and God Bless America.