Hillary Clinton Apologies to Donald Trump for Preventing Him from Paying any Income Taxes

Satirical News Service
Washington DC

A deeply saddened and contrite Hillary Clinton today appeared before the press to deliver a personal apology to Donald Trump for preventing him from paying any income taxes for decades.

“Donald, I want to personally apologize to you for failing to recognize how deeply you wanted to pay your taxes, but because you were a “great businessman”, you simply could not. I realize now how much hurt and embarrassment you must feel as we drag this into the public light, shaming you even more after you had already lost almost a billion dollars. If only you had released these returns earlier, we could have helped you - I could have stopped doing my work for the state department, and come down to Capitol hill and lobby more forcefully to your fellow Republicans who were intransigent about initiating any type of reform. I could have done better, and take full responsibility for forcing you to take all those silly deductions that no one in their right mind should allow. But as a successful businessman, I understand all too well, you simply had no choice. So I am here today to apologize and hopefully allow you to move on and perhaps someday, actually be allowed to pay your fair share of taxes."