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FAKE NEWS (just seems like it could be true)

Friday, October 7, 2016

How I Predict the Next Debate between Clinton and Trump Will Likely Go

Satirical News Service
Washinton, DC

Just when you thought that this election could not possibly stoop any lower, here is how I see the next debate scenario unfolding.


Moderator: Tonight we are broadcasting live in a town hall format where audience members are permitted to ask questions to both candidates. We ask that you please refrain from applauding or making profane statements or throwing up until the end of the debate.

Young girl: Do you think that someone with small genitals is qualified to become our next president
Trump: I can assure you that there is no problem with my size down there.
Hillary: He says there is no problem down there, but he won’t show it to anyone….
Trump (interrupting): I have a signed affidavit from Ivana stating that it’s all in good working order….
Hillary: In fact I have a sworn affidavit from Marla Maples saying that it’s a tiny little prick and that according to sources the New York Times has gotten hold a report that says he hasn’t gotten it up since 1995!
Trump: I’d whip it out right now if you’ll whip your top off and show me your sagging breasts

Hillary: They don’t sag

Trump: They do

Hillary: No they don’t

Trump: Then they’re fake! Just like the rest of you!

Hillary: No they are not! Why don’t you show us your junk! What are you hiding!

Trump: I would show you, but because I am going to have a prostate exam soon my doctor has told me that I should not display it until after that exam – which will show nothing because I’m the very essence of prostate health – but I will if you let me grope and fondle your breasts to see if their real or not.

Hillary: OK FINE!!!!!@!

Trump: OK FINE!!!!!!!

Bill Clinton: Hey, can I get in on this too?
Moderator: Due to the adult content that is being displayed now, we are unable to continue to broadcast the remainder of this debate or face losing our FCC license.

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