CDC WARNS THAT “THOUGHTS-AND-PRAYERS” VACCINE IS NOT EFFECTIVE PREVENTION FOR GUN VIOLENCE: MASSIVE NEW OUTBREAKS POSSIBLE.

Satirical News Service
Washington DC

The CDC today warned that the commonly prescribed vaccine called “thoughts-and-prayers” used to prevent recurrence of mass shootings has now been found to be completely ineffective. They go on to warn that there could be a massive outbreak of cases over the holiday season unless a new vaccine is found. The Republican led Congress, the leading manufacturer of “thoughts-and-prayers”, have once again turned to the NRA to develop a more effective vaccine. They say their latest vaccine called “Good-Guy-With-A-Gun”, shows promise, and there is no need to look elsewhere. The CDC warned that every American is at risk without a new effective vaccine.