FBI Now Searching for the Mastermind Behind Manhattan Terrorist Attack

The only known photo of the Shadowy Mastermind of this terrorist Organization known only as "The Don of the Red Hats"

Satirical News Service
Washington DC

The FBI is now looking for the person they believe is the true mastermind behind the latest terrorist attack in Manhattan. Messages found in the truck used in the attack indicate that he had been radicalized by a shadowy figure known only as “The  Don of the Red Hats”. He is known to use Twitter to radicalize his followers and inspire them to perform acts of terrorism. The terrorist quoted the message that was his inspiration for the attack.

“I could walk out on 5^th Avenue and shoot someone and my followers would still love me!”

In their brief, the FBI stated that this mastermind terrorist is the greatest threat America has ever faced. He is known to have radicalized possibly millions of followers who blindly follow his every directive with his nearly daily tweets of hate and discord on twitter. It has been confirmed that he has access to weapons of mass destruction and has stated he would use them.

His followers seem to believe in returning to a “Caliphate” in a much earlier time when women were subjugated and used as slaves or sex objects.. In this "Caliphate" religious zealots and powerful sultans held enormous power made laws that demanded unquestioned following. Any form of protest was regarded “un-patriotic” and was ruthlessly quashed.