Growing Number of US Citizens Sign Petition To Secede From Reality

Satirical News Service
Washington, DC

With the 2012 election behind us, more than 700,000 citizens, most of them from the state of Texas, have signed a petition to secede from reality. Led by Governor and former presidential hopeful Rick Perry, the new secessionists want to live in a reality free state where everything FOX news and Rush Limbaugh says is the gospel truth.

                “We want to live in a state where we can roll back job killing liberal legislation like the 13^th and 20^th amendments, and revert to a place where men and women know their place and legitimate rape is naturally shut down by GOD. We want a state where jobs can be created without the harassment of taxes, minimum wages, health care, OSHA, the FDA, or unions. We want a state where religion can be freely taught in public schools, as long as it is a religion we approve of.  We want a state where anyone of foreign nationality or even looks that way is considered illegal or a terrorist until proven differently. To do this, now that Obama has been re-elected, our only course of action is to secede from reality.”