Republicans Look For New “Chair” Candidates for 2016

Satirical News Service
Washington, DC

After taking a shellacking  in the 2012 Presidential election, The GOP leaders are already looking for candidates for the 2016 election that would appeal to a larger demographic base. When the polls after the RNC convention showed that Clint Eastwood’s chair got more positive ratings than any of the Republican candidates, the search began for chairs that might be electable on the GOP ticket. Here are some of the results from recent polls

Electric Chair – Polled well with  the “Law and Order” Crowd also the Energy sector

Rocking Chair- Holds strong appeal to Elderly voters, also new mothers

Executive Office Chair – Polled well with traditional conservative men

Gynecological Exam Chair-Polled well with those elusive young single women voters who only want free birth control.

Beauty Shop Chair – Show strong appeal to woman voters – especially older middle aged ones

Bean Bag Chair- Shows strong tendency to be flexible on positions – gets away from the perception of being too inflexible on issues. Polled well with 18 year old's

Barber Chair – Polled well with Black and Hispanic voters

Dentist Chair –  Polled negatively with everyone.

Captain Kirks Chair – Showed great appeal to trekkies and military.

Dunce chair – Hands down Winner with the Tea Party Voters