Satirical News Service
Washington DC
Washington DC
In an effort
to show voters that he’s a true evangelical, Ted Cruz today announced that his first
act as President will be to launch a National Prayer Day to ask Jesus to change
the lead polluted water of Flint Michigan into wine. “We don’t need more bureaucratic ,job killing regulations or tax payer
dollars to clean up our water, we only need the power of prayer.”
Some people have criticized this move saying it would only promote more under aged drinking and alcohol abuse, but Cruz fired back to his
critics that he’ll ask Jesus to make the wine non-alcoholic.
Sources close to the Cruz campaign have suggested
that he’ll introduce similar biblical inspired prayer measures to address
healthcare and food stamps.
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