Satirical News Service
Iowa City, Iowa
Iowa City, Iowa
Voters in Iowa will go to the polls next week, and many news
services as well as party pundits are saying that whoever wins there will win
be the parties nominees in July and August.
What has not been widely reported is that Iowans will also vote to
determine the outcome of this year’s Super Bowl. It seems that the nation is
looking to the Iowa Caucuses to determine the outcome of more just the
election.
“Lets face it”, said Peyton Manning – quarterback for the Denver
Broncos, "Once Iowans go to the polls the results of the Super Bowl are cast in
stone. It won’t matter a witt what kind of defense we might put up, if Iowa
votes for us to win we win, if they vote for Carolina, we lose. Why bother to
play?”
Many Evangelical Iowans are leaning toward Carolina ever
since Denver traded away Tim Tebow. “Manning just doesn’t seem to be praying
that well in the pocket” said one Evangelical voter.
New Hampshire is not going down easily with Iowa voters deciding
the Presidential Race and the Super
Bowl. “We New Hampshire voters are going to decide the March Madness finals and
the NBA playoffs.”
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