Satirical News Service
Chicago, IL
The first passengers to
make United Airlines non-stop 18 hour flight from LAX to Singapore are reported
to be in fair condition after remaining cramped in coach and fed barely edible
food for the full duration. Some were able to emerge from the aircraft under
their own power but most had to be assisted by ground personnel.
“We are just amazed and thankful that they even survived!
Frankly, I don’t think anyone should attempt this in coach – Maybe business
class, but certainly not coach”, said one airline employee. As they emerged
from the flight they were asked if they thought they were ready for the return
trip, but all they could answer was “blah blah, blah”.
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