Satirical News Service
Cupertino, CA
Cupertino, CA
Apple Computer today
leaked the first glimpse of a new security feature that they claim will
revolutionize the way we access our devices. Coming fast on the heels of their
new 3D touch technology, iLickit ® is
a totally new interface that will soon appear on all their phones and tablets.
According to sources at Apple, users will no longer
have to remember or type in passwords. They simply lick the screen. The screen
has special sensors that remembers the DNA composition of the users’ saliva,
and compares it to what is stored in the memory. To initiate this feature,
users must first lick their screen 3 times to set up the memory profile for that
user. Other users may also set up their profile using the same technique. After
that the phone is secured and can only be accessed by a lick from the owner or authorized
user. While this feature still has some kinks to work out, such as when the
user has been eating onions or really strong tasting foods, it shows great
promise to change the way we securely access all our devices
As yet, no specific date has been released when
models with this feature will become available.
I wrote this as a satire, only to discover that someone has already actually created this for itunes.
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