Satirical News Service
Frankfort, KY
Frankfort, KY
In a stunning announcement yesterday, the State Legislature
of Kentucky, whose body is made up largely of Fundamentalist Christians, has announced
that hence forth they are opting out of being a State in the Union for religious reasons.
As they stated in their Declaration
of Christian Independence, “The United States has become too anti-Christian
by requiring them to uphold the laws equally to Fundamentalist Christians and
all others. For this reason the State of Kentucky has decided to ‘opt out’ of
the United States. We will henceforth be known as the Fundamentalist Christian State of Kentucky".
Current residents of that state can choose to stay provided
they declare their unconditional allegiance to Jesus Christ and the belief that
every word in the Bible is true and unequivocal. They must also show proof of being
heterosexual, although details of how this will be determined have yet to be
worked out. All those who do not want to adhere to these requirements are free to
leave the state.
As one state representative stated “It is our First Amendment Right of Religious Freedom to do this action”.
As one state representative stated “It is our First Amendment Right of Religious Freedom to do this action”.
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