Republicans Accused of Dismembering Cecil Richards and Selling her Body Parts

Satirical News Service
Washington DC

Horrific videos were released today by Planned Parenthood that show graphic footage of Cecil Richards, CEO of Planned Parenthood, being dismembered and eviscerated by Republican House Members and her “red meat”  sold to Republican Candidates. Planned Parenthood employees secretly filmed this dismemberment by members of Congress this week, who now deny that it ever took place. 

As one Republican House Committee member stated, “It is clear that this is a total fabrication. While we may occasionally give away some body parts, such as heads, to Research firms such as Heritage Foundation, The Liberty Institute and The Pro-Life Action Committee, we do not sell these parts to anyone for a profit. These heads and other parts  are very important in providing vital research toward defunding Planned Parenthood, Abolishing Obamacare, and supporting Ultra-Conservative Congressional and Presidential candidates.  It is absurd to think that we simply dismember and eviscerate these people in ritualistic Congressional  Hearings while they are still alive and then sell their body parts.”